I’m an emotional spender. My concepts around money revolve around handing over a plastic card and hoping I did my finances right (in my head). Most of the time getting right, sometimes, not so much. A year ago, I couldn’t make it through a week without buying something… while that makes for some interesting blogging, it’s not really good for my financial status.
The past few months I’ve been purging clothes I don’t like anymore, it felt like all that spending was such a waste. I knew I was trying to fill a hole in my soul with clothes, and the clothes I was filling it with were cheap and poorly made.
Right now, I’m looking for dresses. Really, what I want is a handmade dress gorgeous ruffles. There seems to be so much thought that goes into what I chose to buy, how much money something I want actually costs. It’s hard to separate some issues, like do I want it because of the brand name? Do I want it because it’s of the moment? And, does it reflect my personality? My values?
Do I love it? Can I wear this dress during the day? On my bike? Do I love it?
Lately, I’ve been reading a lot about ‘emotional spending‘ how to curb it, how to control yourself, etc. I feel that a lot of financial information is rather logical and doesn’t really make sense to me. I don’t see why emotions have to be curbed.
Oh yeah… I have to get my finances in order.
So right now, I’m in progress of becoming a financially sufficient woman. It’s hard because I really wasn’t taught how to manage my finances, and as a creative, numbers are hard to visualize.
I’m trying.
By translating or personalizing information I learn about finances, trying to put things in perspective so I care, right now. Not spending hundreds of dollars of month of cheap bits and pieces I think I have to have, and holding on to it, enables me to find something that I really love. Something I can use in my daily life. I’m finding that if I keep going back to a certain dress, and imagining the ways it would fit in my wardrobe probably means it’s my style, since I keep fantasizing, I probably love it.
And if it doesn’t cost too much, I can probably have it.
1. Drunk Circus Dress, $175 • 2. Look at me, $160 • 3. June Dress, $142
What’s the most you’ll spend on a single dress?
{ 12 comments }
oof! I feel that I could have written this post myself. After Hurricane Katrina, especially, my emotional spending went to an all time high. With all of the emotional conflicts I was feeling, shopping was an easy way to make myself feel happy, act happy, and subsequently please those around me.
It’s been over two years though, and I’ve found myself backing off of it a bit, evalauting the things I have, and reflecting more on what I do buy and why I am buying it. I do still allow impulse purchases, but try to keep them down in cost.
My solution for you > go in the mountains of Thibet and live there with Buddhist monks ^^ LOL
It really works trust me….
You will learn how to not depend on material things. Although I LOVE LOVE clothes and fashion, you have to be able to give it up and live without it.
WILL-POWER is key.
But before thinking about it, buy that dress ! ( the grey one OMG !) Where is it from ? It’s so precious: the neckline is perfect and the little froufrou ( french for ruffles)
I adore the color and big ruffle on the wine-colored dress, but the midsection is a little too complicated for me. I’d be all tied in knots. The gray one is great…looks very easy to wear, and like something that has staying power. And only one question matters (IMHO) when you’re buying something: “Do I feel beautiful?” If you feel beautiful and special, it’s worth spending the money. But I really think purchases should be uplifting in that way.
oh, i agree, that’s a good point, ‘do i feel beautiful?’ is a great question to ask, although, admittedly, i don’t think i ask that question enough… perhaps starting a ‘i am beautiful’ internal dialog would be a nice thing.
also, i too adore the wine colored dress… it’s such a birthday dress! although, i must say, that denim dress is really eating at me!
I adore the wine dress! I don’t know if I’m an emotional spender. I just know I’m a spender. I don’t shop big, often…but when I do (oh boy!). This weekend was one of those times. I typically try to buy when things are on sale. So I purchased a Ralph Lauren dress at 75% off and a great red trench coat. So, I guess I rationalized buying two pairs of shoes that weren’t on sale. They were Vince Camuto and I think I’m in love with this man. I haven’t felt this way about a shoe since I was first introduced to the Cole Haan “Air” collection. In order for me to buy a pair of shoes…it must be something that I love. They have to speak to me. Clothes, not so much b/c I probably waste money on frivilous items. But there is a Rachal Pally dress that’s on my wish list.
I voted $201+, changing the question to what is the most you would spend to buy a dress for someone else. I think my limit, with certain conditions being met, would be around $500.
Financial information that tells you to be square, logical, and unemotional about money is missing a huge part of the financial picture: money is an emotional issue, no matter what kind of spender/saver/earner you are. It is totally tied up with your self-image, for one thing. Keeping emotion out of it isn’t an option for most of us, and instead we just have to figure out ways to identify the emotions that drive our spending habits and acknowledge them and start trying to tell the difference between what we want and what we need. And also to be able to tell when what we want is going to provide a completely worthwhile emotional payoff. This is all stuff I’ve been thinking about too, as I look at all the crap in my closet and my teeny, tiny IRA. And I’m asking myself different questions about purchases: does this fit perfectly? do I feel awesome in it? am I going to wear it all the time? is it going to last? And if the balance of fit, quality, usefulness and awesomeness is right, then I will feel great about spending the money.
(Longest comment ever.)
well.. for the longest comment ever, it’s certainly worth thinking about! i’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and you are right… so right.
thomas… wow, that’s a great budget, but you must have some excellent pieces!
Too funny! I do the exact same thing, of course substitute clothing with clothing + electronics + misc guy car items…
lol
** Shaun **
My awesome blog: ohpunk.blogspot.com
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That third dress is delectable. I’m especially attracted to the little nipped waist that fits like a bustier and the skater’s flare to the skirt. I think you could ride your bike in that, with tights. Absolutely!
Regarding money, don’t ask me, I don’t have a pot to pee in. Thanks to the vagaries of working under temporary contracts, I’m like a squirrel hoarding nuts for winter. Except that the nuts are not green ones. They are instead: blush, fragrance, lipliners, half-priced and very comfortable shoes, jars of imported Tuscan vegetable soup, toothpaste.
Some of this is obviously practical and the rest of it is totally unnecessary. However, having gone through two rather cataclysmic events in 18 months, the emotional connection between purchase and succor is very evident. In other words, I’m hoarding against the hard days while at the same time hoping they don’t arrive.
Oddly, I don’t buy many clothes. Professionally, I live in sleek black pantsuits and black stilettos. Casually, jeans, tunics, spikey boots. I wasn’t always this way; I used to not be able to resist bias-cut velvet evening dresses.
And yet, the size of my cosmetic and fragrance collections is somewhat appalling. Because of the relatively lower cost of such items (relative to clothing, that is), I see them as “treats,” which they most certainly are not. I could put those hundred smackeroos in the bank and not on my face.
Great post!
I used to buy lots of clothes when I was working, to fill something inside me I guess.
When I was away from my country without a job, I lost the desire of buying clothes. I kept looking through stores at first though, therefore I stopped it too.
love the 2nd dress!(shortest comment ever!)