by jennine on March 11, 2010
First off, I have to apologize for the lack of posts this week. This year has been particularly stressful. The conference, the move, and now…it’s my family. I feel like I can’t be all things to all people these days, and right now, it’s my family who needs me here the most.
My grandmother, my father’s mother was the one person in the family who always made me feel definitely related. She was the one who loved fashion, she loved make up, beautiful things, loved talking and socializing, and the other person in my family who is left-handed. She would sew most her clothes until arthritis claimed her hands, she had more shoes than anyone I’ve ever met. She tended her garden and kept her house in order for as long as she could walk around the house. ‘You have to keep moving, or you’ll die.’ she said.
A few years ago, she would talk about dying, not in any morbid way…but most of her friends were dying off. She would say… “As long as I have my mind, and if I can die in dignity, I will be happy.”
Then it happened.
She had an accident, and was hospitalized with where they diagnosed her with Alzheimer’s disease. She was losing her mind. It went unnoticed as we all thought she was a bit spacey, but it was more than that. She had to be cared for, so my grandfather and she packed up and moved to Hawaii to be closer to my dad and uncle. That was two years ago.
Sometimes death is sudden, sometimes it’s not. I’m here in Hawaii now, visiting with my grandparents, my grandfather is doing ok, it’s very hard for him. My grandmother, who used to be so talkative and vibrant sits in a wheelchair unable to have a conversation. I think she recognizes me, but I’m not so sure. She’ll hold my hand and tell me she loves me, but she’s never said my name. She recognized my mom, who hasn’t seen her in a decade, but it’s also hard to say.
Alzheimer’s disease is so hard on everyone, the person who suffers, the family. I don’t really know how to describe it, but the woman in the wheelchair, she isn’t the same person I have known my whole life. I miss my grandmother, she was crazy, but I loved her that way.
The only good thing about this is my family has come together in this. My parents were divorced when I was young, and I’ve never been one of those people who wished my parents to be together… they weren’t a good couple. But, yesterday, for the first time in god knows how long, 10? 20? 25 years? My mom, my dad, my sister and I have sat at the same table and talked. It’s really been so long, I’ve forgotten what that was like. Sitting with the people I’m most related to, coming together in a time of need, really meant so much. Yesterday, my mom and I drove my dad to the airport, it was the only time in memory that the three of us had been together. I felt like a little girl sitting in the back seat, strangely content…even though my parents have much suitable partners in their new spouses than they ever were to each other.
I don’t think I’ve ever really talked about my family on this blog, it never really made sense to. This is the place where I come to have fun and talk about fun things and some of the more personal things in my life, seems to belong to a different world. But this week I really need to take the time to spend with my family, because we really don’t have that much time in this world.
Anyway, thanks for bearing with me, I should be back and posting on Monday.
Have a wonderful weekend my dears!
by jennine on March 9, 2010
(photo by Erin)
Sunday we decided to make a trip across the Bay to the Alameda Antique Market, in search of furniture, housewares, all those little things you don’t realize you have laying around the house until you don’t have it. The last week, Rocky and I have been sleeping on an air mattress and eating all our meals out of a non-stick skillet set we picked up at Ross. We have plates now, but it took a while!
The rules are in flea markets that you have to get there early, if you don’t arrive early you end up browsing over left-overs. We arrived around 2pm, which is basically midnight by flea market standards. From what I could see from the people who were leaving the market there were a lot of great finds, but Rocky and I just wandered around the browsing around. I found a crushed straw hat that could use a re-shaping, I’ll show you more details when I fix it up a bit more, and wow, do I love straw hats!
At the market I ran into Erin from Calivintage…she was absolutely darling! I loved her Southwest inspired outfit, her take with denim on denim breaking it up with a poncho, and a gorgeous turquoise ring, she said was a gift from The Clothes Horse. We stood around talking so long I think the flea market packed up and we almost missed the ferry back to San Francisco, so even though we didn’t get new things for the home, we did have a wonderful day.
I must have spent half my life in the Bay Area, over half my life, and never have I taken a ferry to the East Bay, nor have I been so close to the harbor, it was actually really cool to see some of the more industrial parts of the bay, it was somehow beautiful.
by jennine on March 5, 2010
It’s always easy to spot San Francisco, just by the colors of the buildings. I’ll see a window in the background of an outfit shot and know that lady is in SF. Most of the streets are lined with a multitude soft earth tones and sugary pastels, that and the occasional crazy Victorian building with intricate details. Maybe that’s the explanation of how I’ve been feeling lately, environments are often the subliminal inspiration to how I dress. Perhaps the impending spring that’s just a few weeks away, and like all seasons, I get excited about the shift, particularly spring and autumn. Autumn is when I get into new boots and coats, and spring is when I get the spring fever!
Yes…this dress is a little short, in the mirror it didn’t look that short, perhaps that’s why Alicia Silverstone in Clueless always took Polaroids of her outfits. I’m still wearing the same outfit, but I put another skirt on before I left the house properly, while it’s ok for photos, I didn’t want any real life ‘Don’t Show Cha your Chocha‘ moments. Dear God.
Jacket : Moschino Cheap and Chic • Dress : Kimchi Blue • Tights : Betsy Johnson • Shoes : No. 704b. • Sunglasses : Cynthia Rowley
by jennine on March 3, 2010
Some of you have been wondering if it’s possible to walk in the Jessica Simpson Dany shoes… to be honest… yes…and no. Yes, I wore them all day at the Evolving Influence Conference, for say 9 hours straight on my feet up and down stairs. No, meaning I couldn’t walk down my hilly street without being seriously scared. I wore this outfit outside, see the picture above. But honestly, I wore Jessica Simpson ballet flats the rest of today.
When I go shopping the best things happen when I keep an open mind and just look for what intuitively speaks to me. It’s totally not the season for brown sweater dresses, but when I saw the bow belt and wooden buttons of this Plenty by Tracy Reese dress, I had to have it. Well, in San Francisco, this will pretty much quantify as a summer dress, so it is seasonal. It as done here, it can be layered with other dresses like the Rodarte for Target lace print dress, I have a few florals that I’m looking forward to getting when we get the rest of our stuff tomorrow, but for now…this dress makes suitcase living not so bad.
Dress: Plenty by Tracy Reese • Dress: Rodarte for Target • Tights : Urban Outfitters • Shoes : Jessica Simpson • Sunglasses : Cynthia Rowley
by jennine on March 2, 2010
Shoes are so funny, styles go in and out of all the time. Mostly, not in any major way, but in the small details, a curve of a heel, the subtle shape of the toe, how much toe does it show… I had a pair of YSL stilettos for the longest time, but sold them because they didn’t show enough toe cleavage, and I thought they were too matronly. D’oh! And I sold a pair of second season Miu Miu loafers because square toes were out. Double d’oh! Ok, I’ve sold a lot of designer shoes for random reasons. When will I learn? Most often designer shoes will come back in one way or another… and even if they don’t they’re usually made with such care and beauty, it doesn’t matter if they are in style or not, they’re just good shoes to have.
Yesterday, I stopped by one of my favorite super secret shopping spots, because it’s the one place that never fails to deliver the one unique thing to add to my collection. The one thing that I couldn’t resist were these cute little vintage Yves Saint Laurent suede French heels with satin bows. The shape is not what’s in style now, not your ankle breakers, killer heels, but the cuteness of these darlings caught my eyes. They have a certain antique feeling about them, super narrow and high cut, they would be perfect to wear with a lace dress and perhaps a pair of pantaloons, or a bustle. Of course the quality of the shoe makes them feel as comfortable as a pair of socks, a quality even the best mid-market shoe can’t compare.
These will be perfect for walking around the city…well, once it stops raining!
